I Must Be Better...For Me

So, the new year is all about self-improvement, right?

Well I'm sure there are plenty of things in me that need to be improved, but this year I am focussing on my career. The hope is that then everything else will just slot into place - I think that's the way things go. Here's hoping!
As a writer, my career involves putting words onto paper, preferably in a sensible, even entertaining, order. This blog is just the first step in the process of Writing More. This year I want to finish my (first) novel, rewrite and expand my show to take to Edinburgh (and Ireland, hopefully), start doing reviews of shows, books, or whatever, give private creative writing classes, and write in this blog as much as possible. I hope to have a busy and productive year. I think this part is the hardest, however - the start. Since finishing my MA (I officially graduated on Thursday) I have considerably grown in confidence. Lots of things have contributed to this; firstly the fact that I got through the MA, having written a show of which I am quite proud, with performances of said show well exceeding my expectations (mostly to the credit of the great team I had around me). The run-off of that feelinig of confidence that was bolstered by the rehearsal and performance process then got me a job - having applied and gotten an interview, I was feeling so good that I really showed the best, most confident side of myself at my interview. (Actually, I bordered on arrogant, to be honest. Still, I got the job - it works!) Now I have the job, my confidence has been further buoyed by the wonderful friends I have made, who like me for the eejit I am! And I really feel happy. And it's nice.* So I now think I could take on the world, and win, so that is the plan this year!
For the first time since I was four years old, I am not a student. And, much to my surprise, I love it. I feel free, free to pursue my own interests, my own learning, my own self-improvement, with no deadlines, no worries, no guilt. The guilt of the pure joy of, say, reading a book for pleasure when you should be writing an essay, has abated. The guilt of going on facebook, or DYAC for the evening instead of working on the show that was a huge chunk of my degree(s!), is no longer there. Freedom from guilt feels great, and I am not putting that kind of pressure on myself any more; this freedom will not be taken away by those chains. I have no doubt that I can do all of the things I have mentioned, I'm sure I can do anything to which I put my mind (except, possibly, writing grammatically correct sentances without sounding like a douche - but that's a world-wide ailment. Actually, writing grammatically at all is a world-wide ailment.). The things I want to do, I WANT to do. I don't need to do these things by a certain date, or for anyone else. I will please myself. This year I will finish my first novel, because I want to. This year I will read more books, because I want to. This year I will write more, because I want to. But I will not put too much pressure on myself, because I don't need to. I will have a productive, happy, and, above all, a relaxed year. And I wish you all the same.

Be all you can be, you can be all you believe.

And finally...Happy New Year!

Oh, and follow me on twitter: @GillianPen

*Every writer's pet hate word. But one can over-describe, I feel.